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Do Gnomes Count?

Do Gnomes Count?

The 2009 City Census Form created much controversy in our household -- specifically whether our two resident Gnomes were eligible to be counted.

Greta and Vladimir, the aforementioned Gnomes, who have been billing themselves as "Gnomes of Cambridge" for several years, felt strongly they should be included.

"Truly we resolute in recognition seeking," Greta said in a recent interview. "All residents, not regarding of citizenship and voter registration status, required to answer Census."

"Yes, and if Googler google 'gnomes' and 'Cambridge' our blog first on hit list!" added Vladimir, referring to their blog.

"So internet make proof we valid!"

"We shovel sidewalk, we rake leaves, we guard house, we blog..."

But some doubters have suggested that the Gnomes are not "real," which infuriates the two loyal icons.

"Real!" They practically shriek, "we real! Look," they knock each others' hoods with their fists, "we here! We not pigments of imagination! We not invisible! How you like we say you not...real...?" When they get this distraught they lapse into Russian and I lose them. (Invisibility is another story.)

So regardless of whether you have Gnomes at your house or not, please complete the Census Form and return it in the enclosed postage paid envelope.

Massachusetts State Law requires Cambridge to conduct this Annual Census which provides residents with their only official proof of city residency. Voters and Gnomes who do not answer the Census shall be removed from the active voting list and may be removed from the Voter Registration rolls.

Questions? Call the Election Commission at 617-349-4361 Monday, 8:30 a.m. – 8:00 p.m.; Tuesday through Thursday, 8:30 a.m. – 5:00 p.m..; and Friday, 8:30 – Noon